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Past the land of dreams...

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Nov. 9th, 2009 @ 01:30 am
She welcomed the frost, the soft, sweet chill that touched her hands and feet and then swarmed like a flesh-eating virus through her body, til it reached her heart. And she was glad of it, glad of the numbness, the lack of effect that it brought. She learned to love the cold. It brought its own breed of pain with it, a kind of sharp glancing agony that lanced through her chest from time to time and she would gasp, but it also shielded her, covering her sadness with a mantel of diginty behind which she could hide her face. And at night she would rock and silently gasp out her wet grief and rage, sometimes biting her wrist to keep from crying out. It was a hard lesson, but a necessary one. She was teaching herself, with the utmost severity, not to care.

Life is so disappointing at times. You'd think after the thousandth time of being disappointed, we'd learn never to have hope anymore because it'd only get shattered, but I guess humans are just hopeful creatures. I think hope is the only thing that keeps us going most days. Hope for even the smallest things. Hope that our family will be okay, that we'll get a raise, that we'll make more friends, that we'll finally be noticed...just anything will keep us hopeful enough to continue.

I'm going to try and not hope for anything anymore. I'll just assume the worst everytime I wake up. I'll assume that today could be the day Death comes knocking at the door for one of my parents, that I'll be fired, that I'll lose all my friends, that I'll never be noticed...just anything to not be shattered again. And maybe when I lose my hope, I'll be free from worry and pain.


Oasis- Don't go away

Cold and frosty morning,
Theres not a lot to say,
About the things caught in my mind,
And as the day was dawning,
My plane flew away,
With all the things caught in my mind,

I dont wanna be there when your, coming down,
I dont wanna be there when you hit the ground,

So dont go away,
Say what you say,
Say that youll stay,
Forever and a day,
In the time of my life,
Cos I need more time,
Yes I need more time just to make things right

Damn my situation and the games I have to play,
With all the things caught in my mind,
Damn my education I cant find the words to say,
With all the things caught in my mind,
I dont wanna be there when your, coming down,
I dont wanna be there when you hit the ground,

So dont go away,
Say what you say,
Say that youll stay,
Forever and a day,
In the time of my life,
Cos I need more time,
Yes I need more time just to make things right.

Me and you whats going on,
All we seem to know is how to show,
The feelings that I wrote.

So dont go away,
Say what you say,
Say that youll stay,
Forever and a day,
In the time of my life,
Cos I need more time,
Yes I need more time just to make things right.

And dont go away,
Say what you say,
Say that youll stay,
Forever and a day,
In the time of my life,
Cos I need more time,
Yes I need more time just to make things right,

Yes I need more time just to make things right,
Yes I need more time just to make things right,
So dont go away.
What I'm listening to: Oasis- Don't go away
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